Kenny's Top Ten

First off, I have to say that it’s an honor to join Mr. Stan Ferger on this golf blog. In the years to come, I hope we can both educate and entertain the golf fans that visit this website. Before you read the site, I think an important broad point to make is that Stan and I really don’t take anything very seriously. If we offend you when we poke fun at Zach Johnson’s hairplugs in the future, please don’t take it literally and just remember that we are just two goofs who love the PGA Tour more than life itself.

With that, I think the current Top Ten in the World (as of 4/20/2010) is a good place to start. Let’s break it down and get a feel for where we are in the world of golf right now.

10) Anthony Kim – Hey, how about AK24’s game lately? I was getting pretty tired of every announcer climbing on the high horse and saying “Anthony really needs to evaluate whether he wants to be an elite golfer.” I’m guessing that vague statement means that AK kind of mailed it in last year and spent too much time at the bar? But when you think about it can you really blame him? This kid is 24 years old! He had a great year as a 22 year old and made about $10 million in winnings/endorsements. You really expect him to come out the next year and beat balls until his hands bleed? I would expect him to: 1) scoop up easy appearance fees from Dubai and Australia (which he did) and 2) have a respectable finish on the money list (which he did). Not to mention he was battling injuries the entire season. I say let’s lay off this guy and stop expecting him to be the next Tiger Woods. Nobody is the next Tiger Woods. Let’s hope he’s the next Phil Mickelson and keep encouraging him to develop.

9) Martin Kaymer – Stan and I disagree about young Marty’s spot in this top ten. Personally, I think he’s the next Adam Scott (which is not a good thing). Stan thinks he’s the next big thing out of Europe. We shall see. The reason I don’t like Marty’s game is that it doesn’t seem to translate into the major championships at all. He has played in 3 Masters and has missed the cut in all 3. Not really what you want to see out of your young gun.

8) Paul Casey – Paul Casey made some suggestive glances in my wife’s direction at the 2009 Memorial so I pretty much don’t care for him as a man. Personal distaste aside, Paul is quietly really long off the tee. He just happens to be one of the worst putters on tour. Tee to green I don’t think many people can keep up with this guy, but man that wand is shaky when it counts.

7) Ernie Els – Great to see Big Ern find his game again and let’s hope it continues into the majors. Everyone always ooh’s and ah’s over his silky swing but it’s the putter that makes this guy go. When he’s on with the blade, it is pretty much over as he hits the ball a mile off the tee. Putter’s been spotty for more than 5 years though, so you wonder how long Ernie can sustain this run.

6) Ian Poulter – Shhhhhh…Don’t tell Vijay Singh, but Ian Poulter is becoming my favorite golfer in the game. You might look at him and question the blonde highlights, outlandish attire and salty attitude, but I look at him and see an original superstar. If you haven’t had a chance to read his Twitter feed yet, I would highly recommend doing so. With apologies to Steve Stricker, Poulter is the best putter in the game right now. The only complaint I have with Ian is that he’s not long enough. That really hurts his chances in the big tournaments when you are competing with Tiger and Phil. He’s also the owner of the thinnest pair of skin of any athlete in sports today. I saw him get visibly flustered at the Bogey Inn at last year’s Memorial. Might want to get that under control if you are going to win in the U.S. wearing fluorescent pink clothing, Ian.

5) Jim Furyk – The most boring player on the planet checks in at number 5 and since nobody wants to hear about Jim Furyk, I’ll just take the opportunity to talk about the greatest wedding gift of all time. When I got married last weekend, I received an overwhelming amount of nice gifts. That being said, none promise to be as amazing as the one bestowed upon me by Mr. Stanley Trevor Ferger himself. Stan is a life-long McDonald’s hater and has pledged his loyalty to Wendy’s cuisine for as long as I’ve known him. For years, I have begged Stanley to discover the greatness of the Golden Arches. I’ve waxed poetic about the $1 double cheeseburgers, the best ketchup packets in the business, the McFlurry’s and the milk shakes, but Stanley never relented to the temptations of big Mac. He stubbornly went about ordering his Wendy’s value meal for $11.50 and pretended that raw French fries and dog meat disguised as chili were just the standards of the fast food industry. Well ladies and gentlemen, on a glorious evening sometime this summer, everything is going to change. Stanley has promised to go to McDonald’s as a gift to me for my wedding. I plan on inviting everyone I know and possibly renting out the Ronald McDonald playpen to give Stanley the full McDonald’s experience. It promises to be one of the great days in the history of the universe. More details will be coming soon.

4) Lee Westwood – I am so sick of watching Lee Westwood melt down in majors that I am just going to discount his name on the leaderboard until he proves he can handle the heat. He got off the hook at the Masters because Mickelson played great on the back nine, but there was no reason Westwood couldn’t have done the same. The course was set up easy on Sunday and Westwood should have shot no worse than 67. He shot 71 and missed every putt that mattered. #4 player in the world? Get real. I’d take AK over this fraud every day of the week if I needed a big putt holed.

3) Steve Stricker – Scary times for Steve as he had to pull out of this week’s Zurich Classic with a shoulder injury. Let’s hope this is not a serious issue. If Stricker had been in this week’s field, it would have been a green light special for a backdoor top 10 and a $120,000 check. Furyk and Stricker have made a ton of money pulling that move.

2) Phil Mickelson – Leave it to the media to go so overboard on the hyperbole against Tiger Woods that they felt the need to do the same on the positive end for Phil Mickelson after his win at the Masters. I don’t pretend to know Phil Mickelson, but I’m guessing he’s not the perfect angel that the media has portrayed him to be in the past few weeks. There are a ton of stories out there about Phil not being completely genuine and the fact that so many players on the tour seem to loathe him means that maybe we might want to tone down the praise a little bit. I’d also like to say that anyone that wrote that Phil’s win at Augusta means that he is gaining on Tiger and that the rivalry is back needs a new profession. Phil is not Tiger and he never will be. If you want to compare him to someone, compare him to Arnold Palmer or Nick Faldo.

1) Tiger Woods – So much has been said about him that I’m just sick of the opinions. Well, here’s one more and it’s as simple as it gets. He’s the best player in the history of the game and we should be thankful just for the opportunity to watch him play golf. I really don’t care about his family, what companies endorse him, what kind of person he is, whether he slams his clubs, or anything else. Just keep playing golf and I’ll gladly accept the privilege of watching the greatest golfer of all time in HD every weekend.